Monthly Archives: September 2011

Deep Breath… Here it goes (part II)

Thank you so much for all the love, support, comments, e-mails, and prayers. You are all THE BEST! With all of your love and the love of my at home support system, I’m doing great!

Julie, The Husband, Kiee, and Bear

This picture doesn’t even include my whole support system. Who’s missing: the mom & dad, sister & brother-in-law, amazing nephew, and ADORABLE new niece! Between them and my husband (and our cute cats!) I feel abundantly blessed! God has given me a wonderful family –They are my foundation– They are a true gift from Him.

Deep breath… On to today.

My mom and I walked into the doctor’s office and I didn’t quite know what to feel. After a few short minutes in the waiting room, the nurse came and got me.

I went back to the exam room and knew the drill. On the table I went. Didn’t quite feel like small talk, I wanted to know what the stats were. The nurse did her work and then I sat up and it was time to talk…

Yep, no fun.

She looked though my files again and then gave me the dreaded look. We discussed what would have been expected from the medication I was on and how my body had responded. The medication had not worked. After several docotors have given me the “I’m so sorry” look paired with the pity in their eyes. My heart feels broken.

 I have to go to this last resort. The most heart sinking moment was realizing that I have officially become one of the women I have pittied ever since I was old enough to understand. I am becoming the one of the women I used to pray for and feel hearrtbroken over their loss. This concept alone is too much to handle. I am living out one fear I’ve always had: that I’ll never be able to have children. Not saying that it is going to come true, but it is a fear.

In absolutely no stretch of the imagination have I lost faith and feel like this is a ‘Game Over’ diagnosis….. It is just confusing. End of story….. I am confused as to why this is happening. ———I am beyond thankful that I believe that “God’s timing is better than my own. God is who knows what’s up, not me. His plan for me is better than my plan for me.”  

That being said, I don’t feel that because I trust in Him fully that I just stop all the measures I’m taking to aid in the process of having a child or figuring out what is  wrong with my body. 

I have to drive 3.5 hours to get to the doctor and 3.5 hours back home each time I have to go. It is such a negative 7 hours of drive time. I dread the trip there becasue I’m so nervous about what they are going to do to me. Then the trip home is pretty much devistating because of some of the news I’ve been given each time I’ve had to go. BUT I suck it up and put on a happy face for those 3.5 hours.

Over the past 10 days I have had to take that 7 hour drive 3 times. I have to take off of work, leave a day early because my appointment is at 8:15 in the morning and can’t manage to to leave my house at 4:30 AM to drive for over 3.5  hours straight. I get a hotel room and stay the night so I’m not driving and falling asleep at the wheel……. I have to go back this weekend. Yep, the specialist is working weekend hours for me. I am thankful. Beyond the trying to get pregnant part, we are concerned as to why my 24 year old body isn’t working. That part is scary as well. 

So, after today; this is where I’m at-– Full of faith, full of gratatude for ALL OF YOU, and thankful for my foundation and support system that God has given me. I am a blessed girl.  

Again, thank you all for being amazing friends, all of your support, and all of your prayers! :) YOU ARE THE BEST! 

–HUGS–

Deep breath… Here it goes… (part I)

First off, during this post: I don’t want to  a.) sound like a Debby Downer  b.) sound like I’m feeling sorry for myslef  c.) sound like I’ve lost hope or faith in Him.

This post is taking a lot for me to write but I do want to get it off my chest, so to speak. I feel like I am stuck  emotionally and I just want to be a real as possible with myself and all of you; especially because you’ve always been so understanding and supportive. It’s been a blessing.

So, deep breath…… Here it goes……….

Almost every girl dreams of growing up to be a mom. Playing with dolls and dreaming up names that your future children will have. True, some of my friends have never had this dream; I always have. I have a true passion for children and want to raise a couple of my own.

I am having issues with my body not working properly.  The husband and I are trying to add on to our family and have a baby. It’s not working. Something is wrong with my 24 year old body and I feel like my body is failing me. This is all true.

All of the above items have made me quite stressed. For almost a year my body has quit doing what every 24 year old woman’s body does. I have been to doctor after doctor and they are all perplexed and can’t tell me what is up with my body and why it is kind of bailing on me. It is frustrating.

The husband and I started trying to add to our family almost a year ago. Once we started trying to have a baby, a few issues with my body have been discovered but there is no rhyme or reason any doctor has come across. I brushed it off at first. Maybe it was just a few months of my body on a vacation or something? Yah, sure that’s what it was….. not.

This is where I'm hoping my body has decided to vacation to.... It looks nice :)

I have had so many tests run, exams performed, and blood taken I seriously can’t keep track. Me rolling up my sleeve and saying “Yah, I have teeny tiny veins. Sorry my small veins are making your day harder” to the nurse who is drawing my blood on that particular day…..  Or,  laying back listening to the standard conversation between the doctors to keep awkwardness at bay, “Yep, the weather is hot. Is it ever going to cool down?…. What do you do? Oh, how is that going…… ect….” It  is becoming second nature.

In the beginning of this ordeal about a year ago. I was on three rounds of medication from one doctor, sometimes two or three medications per round. It was an insane rolercoster of emotion and weird feelings taking over my body.  None of them worked. My body still refused to do what was normal and it had been doing for allllllll years in the past. All three medications failed.

My doctor sat me down and said that I needed to see the specilist for our geographic region, luckily he lives in Kansas. She said that “he would take good care of me.” —-The way she looked at me that day will stick with me forever.—  It was a look of pity and sadness all rolled into one. I hadn’t freaked up until that point. The way the doctor looked at me felt like a ton of bricks hitting me. The sadness in her eyes bore into my heart and I felt myself grow weak inside.

This is what her words felt like were hitting me. Complete sadness.

Once I went to the specialist, he gave me renewed hope. I mean, he is the best of the best and the waiting list to get to him is months long. This was going to be ‘no thing’ and he’d figure me out….

Turns out he has no idea what is up with my body either. He has put me on two differnet rounds of different kinds of medications leaving my body full of hormones and emotions that I have absolutly NO control over. I hate it. The worst part? They haven’t worked either.

He says he’s giving it his all and this will have to be the last try he has with certain methods. Then, we whip out the big guns and go to the last resort. A treatment that is over $1,000 a month, time consuming, and emotionally/physically painful. A last resort.

I go to the doctor tomorrow to find out if the medications worked and if my body can hopefully work itself out of its funk all on its own.

My wonderful mom is by my side. They husband can’t take off any more work, we have missed sooooo much work over this already and I feel that if we take off work again together, the whole town will start asking questions. I can’t take the whole town talking, asking questions, and looking at me pittifly. My mom is here with me and we go to the doctor tomorrow.  Last shot for this to work. Crossing my fingers.

Hope all of your days were super. I really am okay. I just wanted to get this off my chest and own up to some of my feelings. Thanks for listening. You girls are the best! (sorry to the one guy who might actually read this!)

The story of the refrigerator

So, the husband and I have a refrigerator that is old. For real….. it’s old.

Not the cool retro kind of old. Just like…. old.

Not cool like this....

I don’t mind the thing. It keeps my food cool and my frozen items frozen…. Until now. Last Tuesday it started to sound a little ‘off’. I didn’t think a whole lot about it because it has sounded ‘off’ before. So, I went on with my life. 

I figured that is was just acting weird and would take itsself out of the funk it was in. It has done that before. Been weird for a few days and then it would be okay…. A few days after the ‘off’ sound started, I realized that my food was not as cold as it should be, uh oh. This isn’t good. It was still running and things but it wasn’t doing its job and it was obvious. Saturday morning rolled around and there was no mistaking that……. IT. WAS.  DUNZO!!!!

No, this isn't the inside of my fridge.... there would be more milk, carrots, and random items. Plus, that is A LOT of condiments! Holy bottles!!!

The items in the freezer were no longer frozen and all of the food in the fridge had gone bad. Bummer…… TONS of money down the drain. Not so much in the loss of our beloved old friend,the ugly refrigerator but all the food and condements inside. Especially with milk being $4.25 a gallon and we had 3 gallons in there. ( the husband is a milk drinking fool!!!)

On the bright side, all this smelly mess meant one thing….. Applince shopping!!

We went shopping yesterday to buy our first appliance purchase as a married couple. It was so much fun picking out what I wanted and trying to figure out what is best for the Spinach and Sprinkles household.  Here is the badboy we decided upon…. It looks like it had the potential to hold the most milk. :)

Pretty isn't it!

So the husband is going to pick it up while I’m away tomorrow night and I am excited to pack it full of things. BUT, I am totally bummed to pay the grocery bill to fill it again since everything that was in our old refrigerator & freezer had to be thrown away.

QUESTION: What should I pack this badboy full of?!

Chia Seed TORNADO

I received a beautiful package in the mail awhile back from Chocolate Covered Katie!   Look what I made with the Chia Seed Goodness from Health Warrior!

Health Warrior Chia

A Health Warrior Chi Seed Tornado!!!

I have been drinking chia seeds like there is no tomorrow after skimming through their website. I add some pineapple juice, lime juice, and chia seeds to some water- mix & enjoy!!!

This has drastically increased my water intake and helped me cut back on coffee, pop, and other things that I should cut back on. I loved chia seeds in my morning smoothies, oatmeal, and such but had never really thought to add it to my drinking water. WHY did this take me so long?!

Health Warrior Chia Seeds

I always win the daily battle!

Since  adding Health Warrior into my diet DAILY! I feel more awake, hydrated, and all around better! I know I sound like some phoney television comercial that is on at 3 AM but it’s true. I love my Chia Seeds that Health Warrior & Katie graced my life with!

This bag has so many nutrients packed into this 16 oz bag, just check out the front:

  • Omega 3s of 10lbs of Salmon
  • Magnesium of 15 lbs of Broccoli
  • Antioxidants of 2 lbs of Blueberries
  • Calcium of 4 lbs of 1% milk
  • Fiber of 4 lbs of Oatmeal
  • Protein of 3 lbs of Tofu

THIS IS ONE POWERFUL BAG IF YOU ASK ME!!!!

Chia Seeds Health Warrior

This was one great summer snack if you ask me!

QUESTION: Do you chia?!

How ‘MODERN’ are You?!

So I would love to sit down and write you a beautiful post and share a wonderful recipe but to be completely honest, I’ve got family on my mind….

Not my family….. My family is all doing well.

I’m thinking about…..

THIS FAMILY!!! 

I look forward to Modern Family every week. The husband and I take Wednesday nights off from the rest of the world, we lay down on the couch and just ‘be’ together- while laughing our tails off watching “Modern Family”.

I don’t feel guilty or lazy for those 30 minutes of TV. I just enjoy it. It’s so nice! ….For some reason I’m just able to take it all in and unwind!

To say “♥I love this show!!!♥” is an understatement! But the time with that is carved out is what I enjoy the most. Laughing out loud so that I seem like I’m a tad crazy is just an added bonus. 

QUESTION: Are you a Modern Family fan? –If not– What season primers are you looking forward to?!

5 years…..

Five years ago a girl walked into a bar. She met a boy. She thought she’d rock his world and show him he wasn’t the center of anyone’s world—-certainly not mine.

One of his friends, who is a great friend of mine, explained a guy that was a friend of his. It was the husband. He had a reputation of being a ladies man.

My exact words: “Watch me play a player…”

And so I did……

Funny thing is….. I think we both got played.

We never really expected to fall for each other …..and actually spent the better part of two years trying to figure out why we couldn’t get enough of each other even though we drove each other mad at times.

The heart wants what the heart wants. It knows better than the head.

I’m so glad that we listened to our hearts.

I’m a better woman because of his unconditional love and am thankful for our unexpected love for eachother. I love that he isn’t perfect, he’s perfect for ME. Same goes with this girl. It amazes me daily how we are for eachother. End of story……. Beginning of a lifetime! ♥

Question: Follower of the head or the heart? Have you ever been in an unexpected relationship?

California- Day 4 & bold blogging update!

Okay, I’m getting more brave on the whole bold blogging thing and am actually starting to write the post.

Did you all realize that I only gave you recaps of 3 days from the ♥honeymoon re-do♥! ……Gotchya! :)

Incase you’re new to Spinach and Sprinkles…. let’s catch up!

Get it-- catchup/catsup ;) ....I know you got it. Next picture should be some corn on the cob because I'm so corny!

What you may have missed…

Day 4 Part I

The day started off quite nicely! …. We went wine tasting for me!

VJB wine tasting

Cheers to good friends, good times, and good health!

We went to VJB Vineyard & Cellars to get some Italian wine! Oh heavens! 

Hands down, THIS place had my FAVORITE wine!!!! I’ll be neeeeeding to join their wine club in the future! I LOVED, loved, LOVED all of the wine at VJB! I learned to much while I was there and learned why I love Italian wine more than any other kind!

VJB Winery & Cellars

Love me some VJB!!!

♥Italian wine is where my heart is! ♥

Then….

After we hit up one wine tasting for this girl, we headed out for 49ers TRAINING CAMP for the husband! Woop-Woop!

The husband was pretty darn pumped to see all of the players so up close & personal! It was an exciting time for both of us! He was also SOOOOO excited to see the new coach! We had our fingers crossed all last season that they would pick him up and give the 49ers a chance!

The new coach, himself! Jim Harbaugh!!!!!

Gooooooo 49ers! ….I seriously have over 200 pictures of training camp but I won’t put you all through the Frank Gore, Alex Smith, and Patrick Willis pictures. They are pretty exciting though…. :)

The exciting part.... This will be awesome when it is finished!!!

Here is one of the husband and I enjoying the California sunshine and 49ers TRAINING CAMP!!

Husband + Wife

QUESTION: What is your favorite style of wine?! -OR- Are you a NFL football fan?!

Playground knowledge….

On days like this I just have to share…. I learn so much in the elementary school playground! FOR REAL!

I was standing there kid watching when I hear a girl say, with the most serious face in the whole wide world….. 

Wish I would have known this sooner! ;)

“Did you know if you kiss a boy, your teeth will fall out?!?”

Her face when she said this to her friend was truly priceless. She 100% believes this to be a fact and for all I know, it’s true. Maybe your teeth do fall out if you kiss boys… I need to convey my belief, especially when I’m her teacher. She brightened my day and there is NO DOUBT in my mind that I will remember that exact moment forever. 

I learn so  much on the playground! Second, third, and fourth graders are so knowledgable. They have so much to share with the world and their hearts full of dreams make my heart feel alive! My job has been super stressful and I pray every day that I can be the best teacher I can for them. They deserve it, especially for comments like that. :)

AND….

I heard this joke 9 times today. I seriously counted after the first 3 times…

Student- “Wanna know how to make Lady Gaga cry?”

Mrs. H.- “Yah. How do you make Lady GaGa cry?”

Student- “Poker face” “Get it?!  Poke her face, poker face– like her song, you know.” 

I have to admit I thought it was funny. I laughed…. all 9 times. ;)

QUESTION- Have your teeth fallen out because you’ve kissed a boy?!?! I need to find out if this is true!!!! ;) -OR- Any playground knowledge you remember?!?

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Dip

It’s no secret, I’m a HUGE fan of Chocolate! … I eat a lot of it! Seriously, I should probably cut back…. Oh well. Maybe later. ;)

Till then, I‘m going to enjoy my chocolate…. Here is a new dip that I have been needing to try since I first saw it floating around in blog world.

Chocolate Covered Katie is where my inspiration came from. I love her *SUPER* healthy spin on all the goodness that life has to offer! I would TOTALLY head over to check out her recipe for Dark Chocolate Brownie Batter Dip. Especially if you want a good recipe. I’m more of a dumper, so my ‘recipe’ will need tweaking based on what you like. 

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Dip 

adapted from Chocolate Covered Katie!Dark Chocolate Dip Ingredients

What you’ll need!
  • 1 can of RINCED & drained Great North Beans
  • 1 c. unsweetened Applesauce
  • 2 TBSP milk
  • 3 TBSP of Dark Chocolate Cocoa Powder
  • 1 tsp. peanut butter extract
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 4 packets of Truvia
    • (but I used an overripe banana for sweetness!)
  • 1 cup of quick oats
Put all items into a food processor (a blender would work too, I’m sure!) and let it whirl! 

Finally once it was all blended up, I dug in with spoon!

Maybe I should learn some patience!

To be completely honest, I think I’ll add baking soda next time to give it more of a kick and it was way better after it sat in the fridge overnight. Like I said, I would give Katie’s recipe a try first, she’s a professional – I’m a dumper.

QUESTION- Are you a recipe follower?  -or- Do you look at a recipe and then just dump stuff in?

I do follow recipes if I’m baking but on stuff like this I tend to want to do my own thing and not follow a recipe, just because I’m the boss in my kitchen! :)

Fun Facts!

Happy Monday everyone!

A while back (umm, right before baby Annika rocked my world and life got a little out of hand….) , Meredith over at Food, Shoes, and Booze tagged me for the blissful blogger! It truly warmed my heart because I have been feeling like a bad blogger with being MIA for days at a time. Anyway…. Meridith has had me at “Food, Shoes, and Booze” what is a girl not to love about her blog?! I was only slightly bummed that her blog title was waaaaaaay better than mine.  (kidding, only a little though. Her title rocks!)

So sweet of her to tag me!

I get to share SEVEN fun facts that you didn’t know about me already! …Hold on tight they are going to be fun!!

1. Growing up I wanted to be: an interior designer, astronaut, lawyer, writer, aerobics instructor, photographer, psychologist, vet, make up artist, country music singer, meteorologist….. and nurse.

You get the picture. I wanted to be everything under the sun. I was just so darn passionate about everything! I was natually intregued by many things and therefore wanted a profession where I could do everything that excited me!

I blame the nurse aspiration on this book....

2. Now I aspire to be: a nutritionist, mother, chef/cook, wine expert, author, gym owner, and jeweler…. and news anchor woman and preschool teacher.

Oh how the times have changed.

Yep, I love Diane Sawyer... I wanted her job while she was on GMA.

3. I’m a TOTAL news junkie!! I just want to be informed. My TV is on in my classroom every morning up till the students walk in. I feel lost if I don’t know what is going on in the world.

   

I wanted to skip work on Diane Sawyer’s last day on Good Morning America. This is true….. Lucky me. I do believe is was a day where it was snowing crazily and I got to watch all of Good Morning America due to a late start! ……….Crazy enough, I don’t watch ‘World News Tonight’ though…. I’m just a fan of morning shows.

4. I basically have to turn the TV off or on mute when a scary commercial comes on. I seriously get so scared. I avoid TV at almost all costs durning the month of October. In fact, October is a hard moth for me…. I am truly such a scardy cat!

Total scardey cat right here!!!

I wish I were exaggerating but I’m not. I can’t handle it. I just can’t. The husband can vouch for this if you would like…..

Be still my heart.

If you told me you would give me a million dollars to watch ‘Wrong Turn’ with Brad Pitt & Josh Dumehall holding my hands, I WOULDN’T TAKE IT! I couldn’t take it. I would seriously have horrid images in my head non stop forever. forever. Seriously, wish I was joking.

5. I don’t like the new NFL review rule whenever anyone scores.

6. I have an obsession with jewelry.  Not fashion jewelry, REAL jewelry. Sapphires and diamonds make my heart skip a beat! ♥

... My wedding ring is a cushion cut!

7.  My name is JULIE…. As if you didn’t know this… HA!

My point is-  I have no nicknames. I don’t do nicknames. (unless you count when the husband calls me sugar…) For some  reason I am ridiculously attached to may name.  

Yep, it's Julie. JUST Julie.

It’s not that I love my name, I just don’t like to be called anything else. It’s kind of weird….. No one calls me ‘Jules’ or anything of the sort. In high school nicknames were really in. I didn’t have one. I didn’t want one…. In French class, I had to take a French name. It was almost the death of me. I am JULIE dangit!

NOW…. I get to tag 5 of you! (sorry if you have already been tagged. In fact, I’m pretty sure that most of you have been tagged. I lose track! …. I think we all started blogging around the same time and I have loved being on the blog journey because of your blogs!)

QUESTION: Did you learn anything new about me?!  -OR- Do you have any questions for me?